Abstinence Sucks Nasty Balls Day 8

I still haven’t brought myself to fully write about my conversation with Sir last week. Which in turn has kept me a little closed off here. A lot of my emotions over the last week is tied to what is going on us Us.

So here is a bit of a run down. I haven’t had an orgasm in 8 days!!!!

I would say that I am miserable, but it doesn’t quite cut it. While completely realizing that people live in chastity for insane amounts of time. I kind of feel like I am dying. This morning Sir used my mouth. That isn’t a phrase I use very often, because it doesn’t often fit our dynamic, but this morning he did. I’ve been used as a vessel on and off for the last week as punishment, and I almost want to cry.

I don’t cry. Though, I am getting there, and now I am wondering if that is what Sir is waiting on. I don’t know. I just know, that I am very much ready for this to end.


I am up writing because I can’t sleep. I can’t sleep because a friend just told me he had sex with his ex-gf last month. Then last week he ate her out and fucked her tits. His words not mine.

Logically, none of this should matter to me. I know that. The trouble is, it does. I got physically hot when the surprise wore off from the first revelation, and he told me about last week. Not ooo sexy hot, but what I am guessing is anger hot. I shouldn’t be angry. I am. I shouldn’t feel any of the things I am feeling right now, betrayal, hurt, disgust, frustration… I keep seeing them together, it plays in my head over and over and my god this sucks.

I see him slamming into her in a heated rush. I see her back arched in ecstasy as he does. I hear her screaming his name as he pushes her over the edge with tongue. I see his cum shooting onto her chest and face, and all of it, all of it makes me sick.

Sick. Sick. Sick.

I don’t know what my problem is, but I can feel it. It is trouble.

The worst part of all of this, is I swear our relationship has been off a bit since last month.  Yes. Trouble.

Age and Oral Sex

I was sprawled out on my mother’s bed. We were talking like we often do, and the subject of oral sex came up. Gossip spreads like wild fire here. So now it is out that Rose’s grand-daughter at the young age of sixteen was caught with her lips around a hard cock. My mother goes on this rant about ‘what a filthy thing that is to do. How when she was growing up only the slutty girls did that. It was better to have sex with four different boys than to put your mouth on a penis.’ “Why would she do that?”

“I don’t know; why not?”

She stared at me with this  dumbfounded look. Now my mom isn’t a prude. My parents always let me know the purpose of sex: that it made babies, that it was something shared between a married couple (they always put emphasis on the married, and for good reason I admit), that it was important to a long-lasting relationship.  So I was a little surprised that she was taken aback by my “why not” response. Then she looks at me and says “what could that possibly do for her, what does she get out of it”

I am thinking, moment of truth, do I actually explain this to my mother??? She has already survived walking in on me in a very compromising position.  Nope…

“I don’t know what they get out of it, maybe the reciprocal…”

“I don’t think those boys do any reciprocating”

Mine does… I bit my cheek fighting off the grin on my face. Then after I found my way out of that conversation I got to thinking, and trust me it wasn’t a pleasant thought. Has my mother honestly never performed or received oral sex, ever???? Then it just saddened me.  I don’t think I could go the rest of my life without giving or receiving, the thought is a bit depressing.

Anywho, I got to thinking. I wonder what I will find slutty, filthy, or nasty, twenty-five years from now that the ‘kids’ will find at least a weekly occurrence….


My Don’t Touch Me PJ’s

Last night after I finished washing the dishes and putting my baby boy to bed, I showered. Then I put on my “no touching” pajamas. I am not the only one that has these right? Ya know the granny looking flannel ones. They aren’t sexy at all. I was fully prepared, to spend the evening catching up on my TV.

When Jackson came to bed, he looked at me an grunted acquiescing to my nightwear. He respects my “don’t touch me pajamas” unless the alter ego shows, and then, well, I have no choice, that is a more rare occurrence than my grabbing my “no” pj’s. I think he just dislikes the idea of my “no” pajamas. Who knows…

I was in bed watching, he was in bed reading, an hour later he turned off his light, and kissed me good night. Mid Castle, and right before bed time, I decide to check my e-mail. Then I decided to write a post I’ve been meaning to write forever. At this point Castle has gone off, and I am halfway through the news. It is way time for bed. Then I check my reader. Mistake one, I am browsing, and reading, and then I come across this. In retrospect, I shouldn’t have clicked, but I couldn’t help myself. I get all excited whenever I see a new post on Ken’s blog, just because, well, they are always so good, and hot, very hot. The untitled series def, hot. So I click. Mistake two.

I get into my reads, esp the good ones, I put myself in the space of the writer, and there I am. This time I am feeling his tongue on my nipples, followed by his teeth sending ripples of pleasurable pain through me. I am hearing myself moan as he teases me  between my legs, licking, biting, sucking my inner thighs, torturing me with anticipation.

Aw Fuck! I did it again. I can see my nipples stretching the flannel tank top. I can feel the dampness between my legs. I finish reading. I am sitting in bed hot, and bothered, and to my right is a sleeping lover that will fix my newly gained problem. I really shouldn’t wake him up. I should really get some sleep. I am really wet. Maybe it will go away.

I finish watching the news, and the late night show. It hasn’t gone away. I look at Jackson again, I want him, right now. I resign to wake him, he will live. I finish another quick e-mail, bitching about my little predicament. Shut down my compy, and put it away. I divest of my “no pj’s” and climb back into bed. It would be much easier if he would sleep on his back. Ah well. I snuggle up behind, moving my hand under his arm, to his chest.

“Baby” I say softly, nudging him. No response… “baby I need Thor”

“odd grunting sound”

I plead with him, while moving my mouth to his neck, kissing him, “please”


“They are gone.” I say, sliding my hand down his chest, past his abs, and into his boxers.

He shifted to his back, looking at me, still half sleep. I moved quickly, a hint of a smile came across his face. He nodded, raising his hips off of the bed pushing his growing cock into my hand.

“thank you baby, I will be fast, promise” I said moving down the bed. Quickly releasing Thor and taking him into my waiting mouth, sucking him to life.
Jackson’s hand moved to left hand, holding it, letting me know he was with me,  before a gasp escaped his lips, as I moved faster. Suddenly I dragged my teeth against him.

“mmFuck Sam!” sitting up on his palms. He glared at me, I smiled up at him.

Lifting my lips from his dick, “I need you awake.” I said softly, but before I could return Thor to my mouth Jackson had me on my stomach, my face, pressed into the pillow, and his lips against my ear.

“I’m awake.” he said, not so softly, nanoseconds later he slammed inside me from behind. My moans muffled by the pillow as he rammed into me, again and again, pulling my head up by my hair so I could breathe. Fucking my cunt so hard and as I promised, I was fast, the tingles came with the white lights, with the burst of fading colors as his teeth sank into my shoulder, sensations colliding, as he filled me.

Crap, I took a shower tonight so I wouldn’t have to take one in the morning. Ah well. Serves me right. I have to stop reading before bed.

Welcome Home

Business trips can be fun. This one was not. He had been gone for days and the longing had set in. I longed to be in his presence. I longed to touch him. I longed to feel his hands against my skin. So when he walked through the door it was with great self control that I allowed him time to set his bags down. Then he was mine.


After a long shower,  I wrapped myself in my favorite fluffy towel, ran the blower through my hair, and headed to the closet to shop. The fire red pleated teddy won. I collected the garter and the pair of matching fishnets, grinning at the thought of him ripping them to shreds as he did with the last pair. I added a pair of strappy red heels and started to dress.

When I was ready I went to the mirror and smiled at the vixen staring back at me. I strategically placed four sprays of heat, and checked the flight status again. He would arrive any minute.


He cocked his left eyebrow. I knew he was thinking of the possibilities for the evening. I stepped to him, grabbing his tie with my right hand, my left hand knotting in his brown locks. Kissing away the hours upon on hours we spent apart. His back slammed against the door. I giggled at my aggression. “I missed you baby.”

“I am noticing.” I watched him intently. The rise and fall of my chest quickening.  He bent down and his hands grasped my calves. My body welcoming his touch  His hands moved up to my ass, dragging his nails against my cheeks, making me moan through clenched teeth. “This is new?” he asked of my lingerie.

“Mmhmm, welcome home” I nodded, moving my hands to his belt buckle, raising my knee slightly to brush against his erection. He stopped me. Grabbing my ass, he hoisted me up, my legs instinctively wrapping around him.

“I like,” he said appreciatively. “Where to?” he asked before invading my mouth with his tantalizing tongue.

Irritated to part from his lips I muttered,”Bed.” He carried me to our room, and tossed me on the bed, I yelped on impact. He kicked his shoes off, dropped his pants, and jumped onto the bed. We kissed again as I untied his tie, pulling it off. My fingers found the buttons on his shirt, as he kissed my neck his tongue leaving sweet bits of moisture on my skin . Pulling at the the thin pleated red fabric that covered my breasts exposing them.

His lips traveled down my collar bone and to my breast. Sharply seizing my stiff nipple between his teeth, “Oh god” I cried as pain and pleasure radiated through my body, flames engulfing my soul.

“What are you calling him for? God can’t help you,” he replied, smiling his evil smile.
He got to his knees, pulling me down with him. My ass slightly inverted resting on his thighs, my ankles resting on his shoulders. I looked up at him from my back, watching him take me in. His hands started at my ankles. Releasing my shoes, his fingers traveled torturously slow up my legs. My hands found their way to my breast, squeezing, massaging, kneading them. I watched him pull the snaps on the garter so they springed back, relieved from their tension.

Lifting my leg, he released the two underneath. He pulled the fishnets away dragging his nails against my skin, making me moan loudly, before moving to my right leg. “So, you missed me, how did Lola hold up?” he asked dragging his teeth down the ball of my foot.

“Ah! She couldn’t care less about you, but she sure missed her Thor,” I replied through barely controlled breaths and a grin.

“We will have to give the lady what she wants. Later.  Right now I want to know. . .” he trailed off, laying flat on the bed, lifting my hips, throwing my thighs over his shoulders. My breaths hastening again in anticipation of his touch. “. . .if my dear Lola can break her record,” he finished before pushing my thong to the side, and burying his face inside me. Ecstasy began.