I Got the **** Fucked Out of Me

I am sore. I am more sore than I think I have ever been. I’ve been nursing myself, and I have been tended to all day, but I am still sore. So seeing as how it is difficult to get off of the couch. I’ve been looking out the window all day staring at the amazing view in front of me. The white fluffy clouds hovering over the white capped mountain peeks. Those mountains turning into mossy rolling hills leading to the plethora of homes sprinkled with towering trees. The sound of the neighborhood playing at the park on the corner. The screech of the train going in and out of the station. I love this place. I love this place almost as much as I love being sore. More than that I love being so here. I can honestly say Vancouver will always have a place in my heart. With a week still left in my stay I am already dreading going home.

Jackson has made this place special for me. It all started when we boarded our flight. Scooting over so that he could sit in the seat next me to I was confused as he continued to walk down the aisle. Looking at him he gave me a mischievous grin and I sat back wondering what he had planned… to be continued



*insert evil laugh here* I learn from the best


I am up writing because I can’t sleep. I can’t sleep because a friend just told me he had sex with his ex-gf last month. Then last week he ate her out and fucked her tits. His words not mine.

Logically, none of this should matter to me. I know that. The trouble is, it does. I got physically hot when the surprise wore off from the first revelation, and he told me about last week. Not ooo sexy hot, but what I am guessing is anger hot. I shouldn’t be angry. I am. I shouldn’t feel any of the things I am feeling right now, betrayal, hurt, disgust, frustration… I keep seeing them together, it plays in my head over and over and my god this sucks.

I see him slamming into her in a heated rush. I see her back arched in ecstasy as he does. I hear her screaming his name as he pushes her over the edge with tongue. I see his cum shooting onto her chest and face, and all of it, all of it makes me sick.

Sick. Sick. Sick.

I don’t know what my problem is, but I can feel it. It is trouble.

The worst part of all of this, is I swear our relationship has been off a bit since last month.  Yes. Trouble.

Tuesday are so Awesome

There are a few reasons why Tuesday is high on my list of favorite days of the week. In random order Tuesdays is considered “Two for Tuesday” by many in the Houston area, for me is Touch Yourself Tuesday, and then in this wonderful blogger world we have TMI Tuesday.  I’ve decided to sort of combine them all in this post.

Two for Tuesdays is the weekly funhouse at the R&B radio station here in Houston. They play two songs of an artist back to back, all day long. It is  a lot of fun because you often to get hear music no longer in rotation, or sometimes even some songs that were never in rotation. How many times do you hear a song by artist you haven’t heard from in a long time, which reminds you of another you like? Well on Two for Tuesday you get to hear them both! I love it. Can you tell?

So keeping in line with Two for Tuesday, whilst doing TMI Tuesday, I will be give you two sets of responses. One of which is mine, and the other a male buddy of mine. His answers are bold, mine are italic.  Here we go…

1. Answer Yes or No:
I Regret My First Kiss: No No
I Miss My First Love: No, No, he is still an active part of my life.
I Married My First Love : No, No we could never work long term as more than friends and lovers, funny how that something can be missing.
I Loved Someone That Didn’t Love Me: Yes, Yes, however it was only momentary, once I figured out that he didn’t feel the same I was done.

2. Do you consider yourself monogamous or polyamorous or some other category which you will explain or define for us now?

Monogamous, Monogamous, I could never have an actual relationship outside of my marriage. Can I say that even though I am not married yet? Now my future hubby has once before been pushy with me; encouraging me to have sex with one of my female friends. I think if I expressed the desire to do it again he would be all for it. On the other hand he would probably drop me like piece of molten glass if I dared the same with a male. When it comes to him he can look, but he better not consider touching. I feel like that is the doorway to all things damaging to a relationship.

3. Your partner is in the mood for sex and you are tired – what do you do?
a. Start snoring. There is no way I’m giving it up tonight.
b. Trade. You give me a massage… and we will see…
c. That would never happen!

B, B, I would never start snoring, that is just rude and inconsiderate. I do have times where I don’t want to be touched. When that happens I don my PJ’s that tell him just that. Usually he respects that, however, there have been times where I’ve been wearing my don’t touch me PJ’s and  he ignores them. At that point I sort of realize that he apparently needs me more than I don’t want him, and I let him have his way with me. It isn’t miserable, a quickie that leaves him sated, and all is well.

4. Does your partner mind if you masturbate, in bed, when they are there?

No, No, but I am only allowed to do it on Tuesdays. On those days it is simply a part of foreplay.

5. Describe your typical sexual romp:
a. You are playful and tame
b. You have occasionally introduced a few things like outfits and toys
c. You love trying new things and shocking your partner

B, B, This was a process of elimination. Even as a submissive I would never consider myself tame sexually, so A is out.  C, sounded good, I do love trying new things, but I can’t think of the last time I shocked Jackson. I think doing wiitwd especially on the subbie side, truly shocking is sort of hard to achieve. Maybe I should try though eh???

Bonus: What was your best ever masturbation experience. Why was it the best? Describe

The male friend and I were in debate about this answer. I only consider masturbation, masturbation if you are the one stimulating yourself. He disagreed, he considers a hand job masturbation as well, so here is here answer: “when i hadnt cum in over a month and i was jerked off in bed. i drenched her”  I immediately thought WTF  a month??? WHYYYYY, but I contained myself, that is none of my business. Since I didn’t get that information, I can’t forward it on to you.

My best ever happened to be last week. I believe there is something about someone you can’t have. What is it about the forbidden fruit? Last Tuesday I was expertly teased by my doppelganger Mari. I ended up taking a late lunch due to the long distance fun we had all morning with our words. However, that private time I had in my car was amazing, and totally unforgettable. I don’t know if it was the build up of tension, or the fact that I parked on a lower level than usual, with much more foot traffic, I don’t know why it was the best. It was one hell of an intense orgasm, that made much too big of a mess, and has me smiling just at the memory.

Tumblr 4


Masturbation, wrote a post about it, here it goes…

1. My favorite place to masturbate is: in my car. I suppose my bed or the bathtub would be better. However, I am only allowed on Tuesdays and my Dom has usually sent me close to the edge of combustion by noon so that I can’t help but touch my self at lunch.

2. Have you ever masturbated in public? What were the circumstances? Define public? Ah what the hell, yes. A drunk version of myself at a swingers party while the couple I was “with” gave me a break.

3. Do you like mutual masturbation? Why? I didn’t used to, but I quickly found out that it was a problem with me. I wasn’t confident or comfortable enough with my body or the other person. Now despite how rare it happens, I do enjoy it. Something about watching him handle Thor.

4. When was the last time you masturbated? Last Tuesday, and I have every intention on tapping this pussy tomorrow.

5. Have you ever masturbated on camera? Yes, makes those business trips a little more interesting.

6. Do you like to watch people masturbate? People in general– not so much. Jackson absolutely, as mentioned before I love watching him handle himself. The slow strokes, the firm strokes, the look in his eyes while they beam at me.

Bonus: Have you filmed yourself masturbating? Care to share that film via a link? Yes, and not a chance in, well you know.

Brought to you by TMI Tuesday


Those three characters mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people. To me though, it means the slacking of my jaw, the intensity of his stare, and my imminent unraveling.

It started as we were walking. We were headed to dinner with my old high school friend and her husband. My left hand was comfortable in his right as we walked, and there it was, his thumb, undetected by all, making tiny charged circles against the back of my hand. I smiled at the hostess, and gave her the name of the reservation. She thought I was being polite, that smile though, was for him, he knew exactly what he was doing.

As he lead me to our table we switched hands, and I enjoyed returning the sentiment, until a flick of his eye instructed me to stop. We greeted our friends and the evening continued with great conversation and laughs. Long after I forgot about his earlier vices his hand made its way to my thigh under the table, the tiny circles resumed igniting my skin, igniting me. As the conversation continued I wondered if they knew. If they could see it on our faces. I hoped that they couldn’t and ordered dessert.

He continued to torture me. On and off all evening in his subtle way, he made circles. Circles on my hand, the back of my neck, the small of my back. With his arm draped around me he made tiny circles on my shoulder where the fabric stopped and my skin began, tiny circles on my legs, and as my thighs spread slightly to give him access, he made tiny circles just high enough to drive me crazy, and just low enough not to cause attention. He made tiny circles through the movie, through the late night drinks, throughout the ride home, and when he lead me up our staircase and to our room my body screamed for all of him. All he gave me though, were tiny circles.


I Smiled

My heart was still pounding, but slowly returned to a normal pace, my breathing slowing as well. I was hot, the sweat seeking escape from between our bodies. Jackson lay motionless, still inside me. His teeth not leaving my shoulder.

My hair clinged to me along with the distinct smell of sex. I needed a shower.

When he finally rolled over to his side of the bed, my body welcomed the breeze of cool air.

My hand drifted to my neck, moving the perspiration down my body to my breast. My nipples still perked and sore from the activities. I circled them with my fingers and continued on. The creamy wetness met my fingers. I swirled it around my clit, a moan escaping my throat. I brought my fingers between my lips and sucked softly.

“Sweet isn’t it.”Tumblr 3

Caught wet handed, I put my hand down, and I smiled.


Yesterday I was jovial. The whole day passed without someone pissing me off (this is rare). When I got home, finished dinner and the subsequent cleaning I played on the wii u withr the boys. My son looks at me and says “you’re in a good mood mom”. Am I usually in a bad one? 🙂

So my over analytical self started to think about why I was in such a good mood. It didn’t take long to figure out. I’m still on a sub high, a whole 24 hours later. It has been so long I’ve forgotten what this feels like. I’ll revel in it while it lasts.