I Got the **** Fucked Out of Me

I am sore. I am more sore than I think I have ever been. I’ve been nursing myself, and I have been tended to all day, but I am still sore. So seeing as how it is difficult to get off of the couch. I’ve been looking out the window all day staring at the amazing view in front of me. The white fluffy clouds hovering over the white capped mountain peeks. Those mountains turning into mossy rolling hills leading to the plethora of homes sprinkled with towering trees. The sound of the neighborhood playing at the park on the corner. The screech of the train going in and out of the station. I love this place. I love this place almost as much as I love being sore. More than that I love being so here. I can honestly say Vancouver will always have a place in my heart. With a week still left in my stay I am already dreading going home.

Jackson has made this place special for me. It all started when we boarded our flight. Scooting over so that he could sit in the seat next me to I was confused as he continued to walk down the aisle. Looking at him he gave me a mischievous grin and I sat back wondering what he had planned… to be continued

 

 

*insert evil laugh here* I learn from the best

Trouble

I am up writing because I can’t sleep. I can’t sleep because a friend just told me he had sex with his ex-gf last month. Then last week he ate her out and fucked her tits. His words not mine.

Logically, none of this should matter to me. I know that. The trouble is, it does. I got physically hot when the surprise wore off from the first revelation, and he told me about last week. Not ooo sexy hot, but what I am guessing is anger hot. I shouldn’t be angry. I am. I shouldn’t feel any of the things I am feeling right now, betrayal, hurt, disgust, frustration… I keep seeing them together, it plays in my head over and over and my god this sucks.

I see him slamming into her in a heated rush. I see her back arched in ecstasy as he does. I hear her screaming his name as he pushes her over the edge with tongue. I see his cum shooting onto her chest and face, and all of it, all of it makes me sick.

Sick. Sick. Sick.

I don’t know what my problem is, but I can feel it. It is trouble.

The worst part of all of this, is I swear our relationship has been off a bit since last month.  Yes. Trouble.

Tuesday are so Awesome

There are a few reasons why Tuesday is high on my list of favorite days of the week. In random order Tuesdays is considered “Two for Tuesday” by many in the Houston area, for me is Touch Yourself Tuesday, and then in this wonderful blogger world we have TMI Tuesday.  I’ve decided to sort of combine them all in this post.

Two for Tuesdays is the weekly funhouse at the R&B radio station here in Houston. They play two songs of an artist back to back, all day long. It is  a lot of fun because you often to get hear music no longer in rotation, or sometimes even some songs that were never in rotation. How many times do you hear a song by artist you haven’t heard from in a long time, which reminds you of another you like? Well on Two for Tuesday you get to hear them both! I love it. Can you tell?

So keeping in line with Two for Tuesday, whilst doing TMI Tuesday, I will be give you two sets of responses. One of which is mine, and the other a male buddy of mine. His answers are bold, mine are italic.  Here we go…

1. Answer Yes or No:
I Regret My First Kiss: No No
I Miss My First Love: No, No, he is still an active part of my life.
I Married My First Love : No, No we could never work long term as more than friends and lovers, funny how that something can be missing.
I Loved Someone That Didn’t Love Me: Yes, Yes, however it was only momentary, once I figured out that he didn’t feel the same I was done.

2. Do you consider yourself monogamous or polyamorous or some other category which you will explain or define for us now?

Monogamous, Monogamous, I could never have an actual relationship outside of my marriage. Can I say that even though I am not married yet? Now my future hubby has once before been pushy with me; encouraging me to have sex with one of my female friends. I think if I expressed the desire to do it again he would be all for it. On the other hand he would probably drop me like piece of molten glass if I dared the same with a male. When it comes to him he can look, but he better not consider touching. I feel like that is the doorway to all things damaging to a relationship.

3. Your partner is in the mood for sex and you are tired – what do you do?
a. Start snoring. There is no way I’m giving it up tonight.
b. Trade. You give me a massage… and we will see…
c. That would never happen!

B, B, I would never start snoring, that is just rude and inconsiderate. I do have times where I don’t want to be touched. When that happens I don my PJ’s that tell him just that. Usually he respects that, however, there have been times where I’ve been wearing my don’t touch me PJ’s and  he ignores them. At that point I sort of realize that he apparently needs me more than I don’t want him, and I let him have his way with me. It isn’t miserable, a quickie that leaves him sated, and all is well.

4. Does your partner mind if you masturbate, in bed, when they are there?

No, No, but I am only allowed to do it on Tuesdays. On those days it is simply a part of foreplay.

5. Describe your typical sexual romp:
a. You are playful and tame
b. You have occasionally introduced a few things like outfits and toys
c. You love trying new things and shocking your partner

B, B, This was a process of elimination. Even as a submissive I would never consider myself tame sexually, so A is out.  C, sounded good, I do love trying new things, but I can’t think of the last time I shocked Jackson. I think doing wiitwd especially on the subbie side, truly shocking is sort of hard to achieve. Maybe I should try though eh???

Bonus: What was your best ever masturbation experience. Why was it the best? Describe

The male friend and I were in debate about this answer. I only consider masturbation, masturbation if you are the one stimulating yourself. He disagreed, he considers a hand job masturbation as well, so here is here answer: “when i hadnt cum in over a month and i was jerked off in bed. i drenched her”  I immediately thought WTF  a month??? WHYYYYY, but I contained myself, that is none of my business. Since I didn’t get that information, I can’t forward it on to you.

My best ever happened to be last week. I believe there is something about someone you can’t have. What is it about the forbidden fruit? Last Tuesday I was expertly teased by my doppelganger Mari. I ended up taking a late lunch due to the long distance fun we had all morning with our words. However, that private time I had in my car was amazing, and totally unforgettable. I don’t know if it was the build up of tension, or the fact that I parked on a lower level than usual, with much more foot traffic, I don’t know why it was the best. It was one hell of an intense orgasm, that made much too big of a mess, and has me smiling just at the memory.

Tumblr 4

 

∏r²

Those three characters mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people. To me though, it means the slacking of my jaw, the intensity of his stare, and my imminent unraveling.

It started as we were walking. We were headed to dinner with my old high school friend and her husband. My left hand was comfortable in his right as we walked, and there it was, his thumb, undetected by all, making tiny charged circles against the back of my hand. I smiled at the hostess, and gave her the name of the reservation. She thought I was being polite, that smile though, was for him, he knew exactly what he was doing.

As he lead me to our table we switched hands, and I enjoyed returning the sentiment, until a flick of his eye instructed me to stop. We greeted our friends and the evening continued with great conversation and laughs. Long after I forgot about his earlier vices his hand made its way to my thigh under the table, the tiny circles resumed igniting my skin, igniting me. As the conversation continued I wondered if they knew. If they could see it on our faces. I hoped that they couldn’t and ordered dessert.

He continued to torture me. On and off all evening in his subtle way, he made circles. Circles on my hand, the back of my neck, the small of my back. With his arm draped around me he made tiny circles on my shoulder where the fabric stopped and my skin began, tiny circles on my legs, and as my thighs spread slightly to give him access, he made tiny circles just high enough to drive me crazy, and just low enough not to cause attention. He made tiny circles through the movie, through the late night drinks, throughout the ride home, and when he lead me up our staircase and to our room my body screamed for all of him. All he gave me though, were tiny circles.

Circles

What is the tell?

In my previous post The Invisible Ring I talked about Mr. Nguyen somehow within a business lunch figured out that I am a submissive. It has been nagging at me. I can’t pick out a Dom, not really. There are certain characteristics and personality traits that tend to go hand in hand with a dominant man. I can’t say though that without them making it known that I can really tell.

This guy though, could tell. He knew exactly what to say, how to touch me, how close to stand, how to approach me to make my body react in a way that was most unpleasant. So  I am wondering what everyone else thinks. To the subbies, do you know of certain tells you have? To the Dom’s what do you see that lets you know “that one will do whatever I ask?”

Salivating…down there…

This morning he had an early meeting. Our morning routine was disrupted. Surprisingly, I didn’t mind. What happened was better. The opportunity to watch him in his morning routine without me was fascinating, and because I am almost always horny lately, it was hot, really really hot.

I watched him come out of the shower wearing his towel. I wanted it to fall off, and then it did. It made me smile. Then as I watched him walk around the room his flaccid penis between his legs, this overwhelming desire to make him hard hit me. Sigh, I am bad I know. Might I say you should all be proud of me! I left him alone. I let him put his clothes out, and dress, boxers, socks, t-shirt, pants, shoes, dress shirt, tie.

I watched him in silence and the whole time all I wanted to do was take every piece of clothing back off, and beg him to come back to bed with me. When he was done he walked over to me, kissed me goodbye. I was okay until he kissed me. Then I needed him more, I lengthened the kiss, and then I deepened the kiss, and then I was a good girl promising myself I’d be a hell of a bad one when he got home.

Lola in Revolt

Occasionally my libido skyrockets to the moon. It is irritating, and frustrating. I no longer have control over my own body.It is like my dear Lola is taking her revenge on me. Getting retribution for all the wonderful things done  Yesterday I was driving, already wet, because when I get like this, I am ALWAYS wet. Anywho, I am driving, and I hear this car, or truck, and it sounds hot. I am looking for it, trying to figure out what vehicle is making this unbelievably sexy sound, and when I spot it, my muscles clench like I am holding onto a cock for dear life.

A lot of times my phases equate to a lot of fast fuck sessions with the sir. Unfortunately for me he left yesterday morning and wont be back until tomorrow morning. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK my Lola and the torture she puts me through for no good reason.

Let’s add onto my misery… I am bitching to Jackson about being horny and wet all day. At first he seems to sympathize with me, and then he doesn’t. Mid conversation, he lets out a sexy as hell gasp/stifled moan, that makes me more wet. Why I bothered asking I don’t know but I did. “What are you doing?”

“I won’t tell you that I am rapidly stroking my cock right now, imagining my hand was your hand, that wouldn’t be nice.”

AHHH the evil fucker. “That was hot, and mean, and I won’t be able to get the thought out of my head. I hate you.”

“No baby, what you hate is that you can’t wrap those lips of yours around me”

The fucker was right. I hated the distance, it sucked, hard, really really hard. -I am doing it again. sigh It would be so nice of him to give me emergency masturbatory privileges. He won’t. I asked. Then I got in trouble for asking. 😦

A girl can’t win with Lola in revolt.