Is More than Two Really a Crowd?

One of the best things about writing again is reading again. I have been able to delve into other’s thoughts and feelings, and it has been great thus far. The writer over at Poly Pride… (sorry I should know this writer’s name) wrote “Why are you Polyamorous?” The post really got me thinking.

For an admittedly extremely brief time, I submitted to a woman that was here it is… married to another woman. One of the best parts of our relationship was that I was able to ask questions that I wasn’t able to before.

For example… as a female that quite often finds females sexually attractive I didn’t (and still don’t) understand what she saw in her cross-dressing wife (is that the correct term? someone correct me if I am being politically incorrect. I couldn’t quite wrap my head around finding a woman that looked like a man sexy… really I have a man for that, and he was quite sexy. I digress.

I also tried to understand polyamory. I asked her how it was any different from ‘an open marriage’. She wasn’t able to give me a fulfilling answer. After getting to know her wife, I even asked her, again, no true understanding.

I say all of this because after all of these years a blog post has really made it clear for me. I am far too possessive to be poly. Now, I am all for the occasional play partner with Sir’s permission of course. A play partner is not on the same plane as my Dominant and Husband. I understand that others feel the same way.

I can’t have¬†two of those. I don’t want two of those. I want him to be mine ALL mine, and I want to be his ALL his. I need to own my partners body to feel secure in my relationship.

So yea I am selfish. I want to own and be owned, and if I have it my way this will be the endgame of all romantic relationships.

The best part of all of it, that I have gained some clarity on those that are polyamorous. I salute their selflessness.

Bringing in the New Year

If you are a reader that has been with me since the beginning, you will know that I am madly in love with my husband Jackson. In the BDSM/Kink world, he and I probably have what could be considered a tame relationship. When we got married a few months ago I thought for some odd reason that my life would slow down. Well it didn’t. In fact it got crazier. This is how…

I met someone else. Not in the way most people would think reading those words, but it happened nonetheless. Now I have been known to have an attraction to another woman before. However that is always what it was. Friendship, and a physical attraction. With that being said I never considered myself bi-sexual. I simply enjoyed having sex with women in the past, and wasn’t completely against in the present or future.

Then I met her. I knew it was different from my first conversation with her. The vibe was different, the laughs were different, and I found myself dying to just touch her in more than the friendly embraces we adopted every day at lunch.

I started talking to Jackson about my feelings, how much it freaked me out that they were growing so quickly. Imagine my surprise when he suggested that I “see where it goes”. So, as any good subbie would do, I am following my Sir’s suggestion. I am going to see where it goes. Bringing in the New Year with uncharted new territory