One of the best things about writing again is reading again. I have been able to delve into other’s thoughts and feelings, and it has been great thus far. The writer over at Poly Pride… (sorry I should know this writer’s name) wrote “Why are you Polyamorous?” The post really got me thinking.
For an admittedly extremely brief time, I submitted to a woman that was here it is… married to another woman. One of the best parts of our relationship was that I was able to ask questions that I wasn’t able to before.
For example… as a female that quite often finds females sexually attractive I didn’t (and still don’t) understand what she saw in her cross-dressing wife (is that the correct term? someone correct me if I am being politically incorrect. I couldn’t quite wrap my head around finding a woman that looked like a man sexy… really I have a man for that, and he was quite sexy. I digress.
I also tried to understand polyamory. I asked her how it was any different from ‘an open marriage’. She wasn’t able to give me a fulfilling answer. After getting to know her wife, I even asked her, again, no true understanding.
I say all of this because after all of these years a blog post has really made it clear for me. I am far too possessive to be poly. Now, I am all for the occasional play partner with Sir’s permission of course. A play partner is not on the same plane as my Dominant and Husband. I understand that others feel the same way.
I can’t have two of those. I don’t want two of those. I want him to be mine ALL mine, and I want to be his ALL his. I need to own my partners body to feel secure in my relationship.
So yea I am selfish. I want to own and be owned, and if I have it my way this will be the endgame of all romantic relationships.
The best part of all of it, that I have gained some clarity on those that are polyamorous. I salute their selflessness.