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Trouble

I am up writing because I can’t sleep. I can’t sleep because a friend just told me he had sex with his ex-gf last month. Then last week he ate her out and fucked her tits. His words not mine.

Logically, none of this should matter to me. I know that. The trouble is, it does. I got physically hot when the surprise wore off from the first revelation, and he told me about last week. Not ooo sexy hot, but what I am guessing is anger hot. I shouldn’t be angry. I am. I shouldn’t feel any of the things I am feeling right now, betrayal, hurt, disgust, frustration… I keep seeing them together, it plays in my head over and over and my god this sucks.

I see him slamming into her in a heated rush. I see her back arched in ecstasy as he does. I hear her screaming his name as he pushes her over the edge with tongue. I see his cum shooting onto her chest and face, and all of it, all of it makes me sick.

Sick. Sick. Sick.

I don’t know what my problem is, but I can feel it. It is trouble.

The worst part of all of this, is I swear our relationship has been off a bit since last month.  Yes. Trouble.

7 thoughts on “Trouble

  1. This poses to be an issue for your mind. I to could agree with the feelings of angry one would get from this situation…I have been there and seen mentally all the things you have wrote about. Some short words that I wish could be formed into advice. Sadly can not.

    Truly
    Corysl

  2. Forgive me for being obtuse. I’m confused, but maybe it’s because I’m a man and I’m not seeing through a woman’s eyes. So you have a friend. Not a husband/fiancee/boyfriend/lover, just a friend, and he fucked his ex and apparently had fun doing it. Might not have been the best idea for him, but it’s his mess, right? So why exactly is this a problem with you?

    • Technically this friend is a great friend, one of my best, and an ex-lover. It shouldn’t be a problem with me. I shouldn’t care. Even if it is for no other reason than the fact that I have a future husband/fiancee/and current lover.
      It isn’t logical, I’ve acknowledged that. However last night when I found out, it didn’t stop me from feeling the way I did; despite how illogical those feelings were.

  3. Our girl emotions/reactions never make sense… Yes logically you shouldn’t care but emotionally… Well yes trouble.
    Just acknowledge them, deal with them and in time it will pass.

    Hugs you tight my DP.

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