I know, I know, it could be a long list, I get it. I just want to add one, that hits me like a brick wall sometimes.
Today was an odd day for me I had to stay late at work and Jackson picked up my baby boy from school. Maybe I should stop calling him my baby boy he is six. Anyway, when I got home with dinner I expected to hear “mama!” and my sons excitement from my arrival. I expected him to come running at me telling me what happened at school today. He didn’t, None of those things happened. I admit there was the smallest bit of regret for not being there to pick him up, when he didn’t greet me. Yet, I sat everything down on the kitchen island, and walked through the house looking for my boys. What I found was much more than a mom could ever ask.
When I found them, my son was sitting at his desk, doing his homework, frustrated at a math problem. Jackson was sitting on the desk, patient as ever, telling my son that not everything was going to be easy for him. That once he does it over and over again, he will be proud of himself that he did it, told him to try it again.
I moved out of the door way, and listened for a moment in the hall. “Is it twelve? he asked. I am guessing Jackson nodded because I just heard a “Yes!”
That brought the biggest smile to my face, and made me want to cry at the same time. I know they have their time together, and I know Jackson thinks of my baby as his own. To see it though, the raw moment of him being a father to my son. Not only did it make me love him so much more, but it just turned me on. That is what sexy looks like, not only the man he is, but the father he is.
I think I take that part of him for granted. When I was dating I immediately wanted to know how a guy felt about my mommy status. I never wanted to waste my time with men who were afraid of the challenge. The kid and I were a package. You couldn’t have one without the other.
I remember my heart stopped the first time my son called him daddy. It just came out while we were out shopping one day. The kid saw an ice cream cart,”daddy I want ice cream.” I will never forget it. My eyes I am sure flew out of my head. Jackson didn’t flinch. He just took his hand and they left my sitting on the bench, checking my receipt. I will have to find a special way to thank Jackson for all that he is to me and my baby. He has given me everything I ever could have wanted.