You know how males seem to hate the words “we need to talk”? It instantly makes them apprehensive. I get the same feeling when I hear “lets talk in person” or “lets talk later” or “lets talk.” Coming from him it means, ‘something is bothering me, I’ve over analyzed it backwards and forwards, and now I need to talk.”
It isn’t always bad, just always so serious–WHY so SERIOUS? (I couldn’t help myself) So when he sad “lets talk in person” last week the apprehension started for me. What would be bothering? What would he need? Turns out he didn’t need anything.
My sweet man was worrying about me. During the summer and on all majors holiday’s I have a hard time. Our home is more empty than usual. My son goes away for the summer and I miss him like crazy. If I had it my way he would never leave (every mom’s not so secret, secret wish). The courts however insist that he needs to know his father; despite the fact daddy dearest is a perfect specimen of earth scum. In my not so humble opinion.
This leaves with me a 20 minute phone call from my baby Sunday’s, Tuesday’s, and Thursday’s and that is it. I am sure you parents out there can imagine just how awful it is. Being concerned for your child’s welfare. Trusting someone to do and be everything you would in a time of need.
The week before my son leaves is always the hardest for us. He doesn’t want to go. We don’t want him to go. In one word, misery. The few weeks after he returns is always joyful and torture. Trying to fix all the damage his father has done during the previous months is a rigorous task. Getting him back to a normal schedule. Correcting his eating habits, correcting the way he speaks, correcting his behavior. It is exhausting. Nothing good comes from him being there. I take that back.
The sir and I do get to…operate more freely during my son’s absence. That is something good.* So during our in person ( I knew it would be heavy) talk, we have decided to go back to court in attempt to adjust the terms of custody. Four years ago I said I would leave the court system alone. However, Jackson has influenced a change of heart. It really isn’t fair to my son being made to go to a place where he is unhappy. It is not fair to subject him to the type of people we strive to keep him away from. He deserves a father who wants to be a father. Not a man who begrudgingly takes his son during the summer to avoid child support payments during that time. So we are embarking on a new journey. I am sure it will be another emotional and mental uphill battle. It is worth trying for though.
*Side note/question to any readers. Sex in general is fairly easy to come by while my son is with us. It is more restrictive of course, but doable. Playing on the other hand is extremely difficult and that part of our sex life, suffers big time. So for those of you balancing a relationship, home, work, and family life. How do you manage the time, privacy etc, for a decent scene on the regular?