There is an awful ache resonating through my head, my throat, my gut, and most of all my heart. It aches because I have so much love for a man. Yet love isn’t enough.
Our story matched so many others, friends quickly turning to lovers. When we didn’t work I felt as if I were split in two. Agonizing pain constantly reverberated through me. I needed to get over him, and I thought the only way to do that was to cut off all ties. So I tried, and I failed.
I needed comfort. Who else was going to help me if I didn’t have my best friend? Sure enough he was there, in need of comfort too. So we comforted each other. Have you ever had breakup sex? A connection filled with longing, remorse, hurt, love and comfort. In that comfort we decided then that our relationship as friends could survive our heartbreak if we willed it to. I am so happy that it has.
This relationship has been by far one of the most fulfilling parts of my life. We have seen each other through life. hookups, breakups, marriages, and divorces. A mutual constant in each others lives
Occasionally I wake in his bed, or find him wrapped around me in mine. That is where I find my bliss, and start to reflect.
It is in reflection of this amazing relationship full of unconditional love that I think about how happy this man makes me. How I could never picture life without him. How much I need him here by my side. More so how much he feels the same about me.
Then the ache begins, because all that love, all the love in the world isn’t enough.